ou know those awkward moments when you can tangibly feel that someone is wanting to say something and they’re not… You can feel the energy of the person either contract to withhold what they might be afraid to reveal or the opposite, a sort of energetic tugging that lets you know they need or want your attention.
As a yoga teacher I experience the latter on some degree everyday. I am aware of a student wanting to talk, even while I’m in the midst of another interaction. I am cognizant of the conversations I need to “move along” and the ones that require a little more time and attention. This is a skill that has been strengthened over more than 20 years of teaching yoga, and even longer if you add in my prior life of dance.
As a business owner of three yoga studios and mentor to teachers, I can also sense when one of them is wanting to talk to me and when they are holding on to something that might be weighing on them for whatever reason. Whether they are facing life challenges, relationship, financial or maybe even career challenges, they don’t even have to vocalize it, I sense it. I usually wait patiently for them to work out coming to me, but if I can tell that they are suffering and really struggling with the courage to open up I will take the initiative.
Even though sometimes these interactions are challenging and even uncomfortable, I am usually a “quick responder.” I don’t like to let things fester and grow into something unhealthy. Timely communication is the key to any healthy relationship (never go to bed angry), and it seems the more intimate and closer the relationship the higher the stakes. What do I mean? I mean it seems like there are more emotions involved and that somehow the words themselves take on more weight, more meaning. We even begin to have conversations with ourselves and run them through our heads over and over again as a sort of “dress rehearsal” until we know exactly what, how and when we will have these conversations. We can drive ourselves made repeating these conversations over and over prolonging the inevitable, and when we finally have “the meeting” we explode into a geyser of emotions.
So, why is it when it came to my own intimate relationships I would almost shutdown? Specifically, when it came time for me to share what I wanted, I would freeze in silence. Yes, to a certain degree this is something I am still working on, being specific about what I want and not “fluffing” and dancing around the situation.
The first challenge is being able to acknowledge what it is we even want, and letting go of what we perceive is expected from us or what we think the other person wants to hear. Perhaps we are afraid of actually getting what we want, or maybe on some deep level don’t actually think we deserve it. Being able to sit with our feelings and ask ourselves questions about where these feeling are coming from (love or fear) can be challenging when they are intense and especially if they are reoccurring.
Its amazing how God/ Universe provides us plenty of opportunities to explore and encounter the areas of ourselves that need work and attention, even and especially if they are areas we think we have “handled” or have come up with an answer. The only thing certain in this life is change, and our wants and needs are no exception. We are always changing, our perceptions are always changing. If we (and our partners) are doing the work, our most intimate relationships will continue to grow and change along with our own individual evolution.
Let’s face it, we are human, and its human to feel a spectrum of emotions in heightened situations, especially when it involves matters of the heart and close personal relationships. I have found that the pace in which I experience these emotions now is in hyper speed! It’s as though I filter through them all in mere seconds and can identify each one. Occasionally I get stuck in the moment and when this happens I will excuse myself from the situation (not run away, but ask if I can have some time with the promise of returning) I usually just need time to get quiet, sit with it for a while, process and ask the questions of why am I stuck here and where this emotion is coming from… and even this is getting faster. It’s like a muscle that we exercise, pretty soon we can flow right on through the smaller self stuff and land right in the middle of that beautiful pool of unconditional love, that reservoir in our heart centers. Eventually this is the place where we reside. There will be ripples, and maybe even some waves, but for the most part we just float around in that sweet sweet oceanic pool of love.
We know that we are not our emotions. We are the observer of our emotions, and we watch them flow through us. Eventually we realize that we are not even the observer… This is why we want our vessels open, free and unobstructed. How do we do this? Well, for me it’s yoga asana, nutritional balance, meditation and prayer, spiritual study, balance in my creative, financial, educational, domestic, social lives and playtime too! Keeping the mind, body and spirit in alignment. My practice is a heart based practice and I always find my way back to meditating on the heart and love. We’ve all heard the acronym KISS (Keep it simple…stupid) you can leave the last “S” out if you’d like…well, whenever I find myself getting caught up in trying to figure things out, manipulate situations, whether it be relationships, work, living circumstances, even food…I remember that it all comes back to love. Love, love, love. Love is truly all there is.
Where there is love there can be no fear. Love is expansive. Love is all encompassing. Love is lightness. I am love. You are love. We are love. Meditate on love, think only on love, pray on love, and you will give off love. attract love and be love. When I am living in this loving space, I find that not only am I able to find my voice, but it is also received and heard.
Don’t mistake this love as mushy, gushy, soft and sappy, on the contrary… this is an all knowing, all powerful and non emotional love.
This is Universal Love; the love that stands strong even when the other person isn’t ready yet…
Love anyways…be the first to say it, say it freely, live it, give it, receive it.
I Love You ~<3
Live, Laugh, Love…